Saturday, June 29, 2013

Dad.


Dad passed away on June 18, 2013.  



He was surrounded by family and love and peace.  I am so incredibly blessed to call him my Dad and so lucky to have been able to spend every one of his last days with him.  Holding his hand, talking to him, laughing, crying, sitting in silence sometimes, shooting the shit just like we always do.  

It's cliché, I know, but I am heartbroken over his passing.  Though I would never wish for him to have remained in the state he was in, I want nothing more than to turn back time and have him here, healthy and happy.  Knowing I've been assured that, at some point, the pain lessens.  Letting go is hard.  I'm finding it easier to deny what's happened.  Deny it by trying not to think about it.  Is it the best thing to do?  Of course not.  But I'm just not sure I can do everyday things, on top of all the things we need to handle now...and grieve.  There's just not enough time in the day and frankly, I need to figure out how to do this.

He was truly an awesome guy.  Even if he wasn't my Dad, I would have wanted to know him.  He was always willing to try new things.  He was generous with his love - I have never, ever questioned whether he loved me.  Not for one second.  He made it abundantly clear that he loved me and was proud of me...and I cannot thank him enough for that gift.  Such an amazing father.  I only hope that I can continue to make him proud.

We've been overwhelmed by the amount of genuine love that we've encountered.  Love for our Dad.  We knew he was a hell of a guy.  But to hear just how much he meant to so many people...it's such a wonderful feeling.



Here's some photos I've got handy of my Dad.  They're all pretty recent and hopefully, I'll get around to putting up some older pics - once I get back to San Diego.


Having some fun with Grampy, April 2012

 Me, Dad & Ezra - April 2012

Dad and Ezra...hanging out, having some man-time in Dad's front yard.  June 2012

Getting a piggy back ride from his Grampy!  June 2012

Me & Dad, Negril, Jamaica - November 2009

Josh, Dad & Matthew, getting ready to jump off the bridge!  Tensing Pen, Negril, Jamaica.  
November 2009

Me and Dad, Negril, Jamaica.  November 2009

Dad, gazing out at the Caribbean from the SeaSong Hut at my wedding rehearsal.
Negril, Jamaica.  November 2009

One of my favorite pics of Dad.  Getting ready for the wedding in Jamaica.
November 2009

Jordan & Dad before the wedding.  Jamaica, November 2009

Dad walking me down the aisle.  We laughed the whole way :)  
Jamaica, November 2009

Me and Dad at the zoo, June 2010

Jordan & Dad, enjoying some delicious brew at Stone.  June 2010

Me and Dad in the Rose Gardens at Balboa Park.  June 2010

Dad & Me...OB dogbeach, June 2010

Josh, Dad & Jordan...cooling off in the snow in Dad's backyard ;-)  Pretty sure they're taking a break from a (very likely) heated game of pool down in Dad's basement.
December 2010

A proud, happy Grampy.  Dad & Ezra, December 2010